Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Continued...

DISCLAIMER: I don't wanted anyone to get scared away from this blog because of the long boring story of the past few years. I just thought I should get the basic story of our family on the table before I dabble into the day to day antics I want to share. So get ready, this is another(and hopefully the last) really long one!

OK, I ended with frustration but I return now with the rest of the story.

RJ has continued to balance right on the brink of autism/anxiety/normal development. He only began to qualify for services at school at the very end of kindergarten so he ended up starting his first grade year with an IEP(individual education plan). This helped so much because RJ was finally having difficulty with academics due to his problems focusing in noisy situations and lack of social skills. During this time, Jay and I continued to take advice from our psychologist and pediatrician about how to parent such a special boy. We were also parents now to RJ's two younger sisters, Grace and Hope, who were developing normally and were a real blessing to RJ. The girls constantly challenged his need to have a quiet, routine atmosphere-but always in a positive way. RJ was also blessed by my job as a nanny which provided him with two sudo-siblings. Parker as an older brother figure and Andy as a twin brother. As infants RJ and Andy were almost inseperable and even developed there own little toddler language--Very Cute:)!

As I look at RJ's life so far it seems to be unfolding in a bell curve of sorts. His development had gone from normal in early infancy to very worrisome during his 3-6yr phase. As he entered 2nd grade we began to notice some very positive changes. The curve seemed to be going back in the positive direction. I would love to attribute these changes to all of the great help he was getting at school and his first and second grade teachers(I would swear they were angels!), but who knows!! His social skills made a marked improvement and he started doing much better academically as well. The only thing that really continued to get worse was his sleep.

By the summer after second grade we had looked into our options for helping him sleep and stay asleep. It came as a surprise to us that RJ was waking in the night, but he finally was able to tell us and we immediately went to see our Ped. He told us to try over the counter Melatonin. It worked and Jay tried it too. I don't think it's working for him as well;). I still hear the snoring next to me every night. We were just very happy that RJ was suddenly doing so well.

It was also during this summer that we took our next big step further into The Grey Area. In July our youngest daughter, Faith, was born. I had suffered through what I viewed to be the worst pregnancy ever. From before I took the pregnancy test to 6 weeks after she was born I suffered from never ending irritable bowel. Without totally grossing you out I will just say that I did a lot of time on the potty. Unlike my other three pregnancies, which were relatively uneventful, I sooo much trouble with Faith. I had a hard time gaining any weight because of my bowel issues. Then at my 20 wk ultrasound we got a scare that she might have a chromosome problem. After further testing this turned out to be a false alarm-but it was literally that scariest two weeks of my life!!!!

The biggest surprise came at Faith's birth when they placed her on the scale and she weighed just 5# 7 ounces. A full two pounds less than my next smallest baby and almost three pounds less than Grace. Very hard to believe since they all grew in the same mommy for roughing the same amount of time. As time has passed we have discovered that her weight is not the only this for us to worry about. Faith was diagnosed at 6 months with a congenital airway problem called Laryngomalacia(I dare you to try and say that one!). This simply means that her airway is floppy and underdeveloped. She has had problems eating since birth and constantly snorts, chokes and sounds congested. For a few months she was also on an apnea monitor because we were worried that she would choke and stop breathing.

This is the interesting part-nobody can tell us what's wrong with her either!!! GREY AREA ALERT! I can only stay calm while writing this story for so long and then my undies get all up in a bunch. I love all four of my kids soooooo much I couldn't even find the words to describe it and I would never want to change anything about any of them, but I also want to be able to do everything I can to give them long, healthy, happy lives. How can I do that if I don't even know what is wrong???? I just had someone tell me today, as I was updating them on Faith's progress, that if anyone can handle this situation it would be me because I'm such a great mom. In the moment that was really nice to hear, but even great mom's can't handle everything!! I sometimes wonder what God was thinking when he was mapping out this life. Did He send RJ just to test us out to see if we could handle raising Faith too? These are the insane questions that fill my head sometimes.

I guess I'm ending with frustration again today. I will continue again soon with how things are going right now and hopefully brighten your day with the tales of our crazy family life:)

3 comments:

Marie Green said...

Tina- I'm so excited you are blogging. I've loved reading your kids' history- even though I've known most of it, it was great to read the chronology.

I've sent some people your way, via my blog...

LoriD said...

Hi Tina - I'm enjoying the story of your family. It must be so very frustrating to be in that grey area. Sounds like you have a positive attitude about it though, which is such a good way to be.

Erica Jo (mamasweetpea) said...

Great to read your blog...your road has certainly not been without bumps and adventures...but you sure are a GREAT mommy!